Video Transcript: The 2 Secrets To Avoiding The Friends Zone
Question from audience: I guess it’s the transition from being a good guy to talk to
sleeping with them.
James: That’s… assuming conversation skills and listening is good, that’s all about this.
*Demonstrates escalating touching on Lisa*
She says something more interesting…
*Demonstrates showing giving more attention/attraction using body language*
Later you turn her around, maybe give her a massage or something. If it’s going really well try to take hold of her hand. Really look into her eyes, appreciate her beauty, drop your (gaze) down to her lips. She’s got great lips, this isn’t hard. Look at her lips, go back up (to her eyes).
Wayne Elise he talks about the SIO (statement of intent)… I don’t really agree with how he does it but it’s a very very important point–you’ve got to let a girl know that you want to fuck her.
You have to let a girl know that you want to fuck her. And most guys, particularly English heritage, don’t do that.
Now, there’s all these millions of different ways… and what’s my favourite, oh “evolutionary phase shift” which is 5 sonnets of of Shakespeare and then you kiss her on the arm and, er whatever… I don’t know.
My way is you simply… you’re having a conversation, she says something interesting–you might give her a hint that you like girls who read or something–and then you look her in the eyes…
*Demonstrates powerful, seductive eye contact with Lisa until tension breaks–audience laughs*
It’s hard with 30 guys watching me under bright lights and a camera on me!
But, if you do that in a nice romantic bar, on a lounge chair in woman’s language–he’s looked me in the eye for 10 seconds, then he’s looked down at my lips and then looked back up and we’ve both had this sort of slightly nervous smile–you’ve just said, “Lisa you’re very beautiful, I’d like to fuck you in the not too distant future”.
Does that make sense?
That’s what you not saying anything and looking into her eyes is communicating.
Most guys just don’t escalate. Sometimes if my energy’s not right I don’t escalate. Sometimes if I’ve got a girlfriend and I meet someone good and I haven’t picked up a girl for 3 or 4 months, I escalate too soon or too fast. It’s like playing guitar or playing basketball or something, if you don’t do it you lose it a little bit.
The main thing is you’ve always got to be escalating. And if she shows interest in you, you’ve got to respond to it quite quickly.