Do you think Michael Jordan broke down in tears every time he missed a basket?
Or Tiger Woods flew into a hissy fit whenever he drove off the fairway or Warren Buffet went straight into therapy every time a stock he purchased dropped?
How would you learn to play basketball if you couldn’t accept missing a basket? You wouldn’t.
So, how are you going to improve your skill and eventually your happiness with women if you are terrified of the sound of “no” emanating from a women’s lips?
Sorry, but it is going to happen from time to time. And you are going to miss the basket more as a beginner. So, the sooner you improve your skills, the less this will happen. Rejection itself has no chemical properties.
I was with a Private Instruction client recently, he was going great guns! I went in to wing a bitchy, interfering friend. I confidently introduced myself. I then had to stare at her and stay silent for, like, 5 seconds simply to get a meek handshake and a name. She gave no eye contact, she just ignored my questions, gave me no energy or attention whatsoever. She just stood there and sort of looked through me, right in front of my client.
The week before I had been getting way more lovin’ than I deserve – one of the girls a 9. Now I was in a new city and this woman, perhaps a 5.5 (who I wouldn’t have slept with if she paid me $3,000) was being unspeakably rude to me.
A few minutes later she saw something behind me and erupted into a fit of joy and celebration. I haven’t seen anyone so excited this year. She regained her composure and offered a sexy wave with one huge smile to someone behind me. A handsome young man came up, took her hand and kissed her on the cheek. She looked to me like she had just won $100 million and married a 30 year old Brad Pitt in the same moment. Never underestimate how excited women can get when they think they have found a great guy.
I’ll bet you that it was their “first date” or meeting. She was so anxious and excited, waiting and looking for him in the huge crowd, she barely focused on me. Also, I was older and a good 5 inches taller than him. She may not have wanted to “intimidate” her date by having him walk in and see her chatting with me.
I am sure some of you reading this would have been hurt by this woman’s appalling behaviour towards a confident and polite stranger. Some of you might have logged onto some forum, typing away in search of answers, fretting over where you “screwed up”.
Life becomes easier, better and happier when I focus all my energy on things I can control, like my internal reaction to an external event. Things like my energy or how social I feel when I enter a bar or the number of people I talk to in a night.
Perhaps, more importantly, I should focus none of my energy on things I can’t even begin to understand, let alone control. What goes on inside a strange woman’s mind certainly qualifies as the later.
I promise you, the less you worry about rejection, the less you’ll be rejected.