“I can’t thank James enough for everything he’s done for me. More than a talented guy, he’s an incredible teacher and coach and a true father figure to look up to and emulate.
I’ve found my confidence stretching beyond just women and into my life in general. I’ve started a business I’d always wanted to and changed out of a job that I hated doing.”
I can’t thank James enough for everything he’s done for me. More than a talented guy, he’s an incredible teacher and coach and a true father figure to look up to and emulate.
In the days leading up to my Bootcamp with James I was nervous as hell. I’d never thought of myself as being any good with women, or with being social at all. And yet here I was on my way to a course helping me to perfect these skills I didn’t even think I had? It felt like a crazy idea.
After meeting up with James and the other students, and having a fairly laid back introduction session over a delicious dinner, my nervousness began to ease. The first night was spent teaching us the essence of communicating, and I walked away with really useful advice about my eye contact and body language, and the questions James described that show a deep appreciation of what someone else has said – asking them for more information.
The most important lesson from that night came from an exercise in talking emotionally – discussing an emotion with a woman requires actually feeling that emotion, not just naming it. A girl picks up on the emotion in a sentence very early, and is left waiting for the guy to actually get to that same emotion. James taught us how to do that.
On day two, we were unleashed upon James’s Female Trainer, Rebecca. We spend most of the day in simulated approaches with her, and getting continuous feedback from James the whole time. This was an amazing day. I did so many practice approaches that I stopped over-thinking them – which removed most of the fear. James’ feedback and the suggestions from the Rebecca did something more for me though. They made me realise that I wasn’t the horrible conversationalist I’d convinced myself I was. James had helped me find and bring out the social side of me I never even thought existed.
That night, it was off to the most popular bar in Sydney to practice what we’d learned. I felt very uncomfortable the whole time – I learned that loud music and being surrounded by hundreds of people are things that drain my energy very quickly. Despite this, I had one of the best nights out of my life!
James doesn’t do like I’ve heard a lot of other teachers do – point out a girl and say “go approach her”, or spend the night showing off his own skills at talking to women. It threw me off a little at first, because I was sort of expecting him to push me into making approaches. Instead, he let me pick out and approach the women I wanted to approach. This had the – probably intentional – result that I was actually interested in the girls I was talking with and trying to get to know them.
Hours drifted past almost effortlessly, until the music doubled in volume and all of a sudden I realised how tired and drained I was from all the effort of the day. Not letting us give up just yet, James moved us to a quieter area and we spent another hour or so opening or using icebreakers on people. This was beyond draining, and I’m so glad James prompted us to do it because it let me discover that I had more energy in reserve than I thought I had.
Finally the night was over and I stumbled, exhausted, to the bus stop – where I started a revitalizing conversation with a gorgeous 24-year old opera singer that lasted almost the whole bus ride home. It wasn’t until my bus stop jumped up and surprised me that I realised I’d stuffed up the logistics and not gotten her details early enough! I took an important lesson away from that.
Next day was day game – something I found myself to be much more comfortable with. James took us to a book-store where the practice of the previous day was repeated, this time with James instead of Rebecca. Again and again and again I practiced approaching James, until he told me that my practices were “10 out of 10”. The other students did the same, and then we moved on to another book-store to put our learning into practice. Here I had the most success: I got an email from a lovely Taiwanese girl, and had a cute-but-married Indian shop-girl thrust her gorgeous single friend upon me – selling her to me as “awesome and amazing and really sexy”.
That night it was back out to the Iv, and James gave me an interesting exercise to bring up my energy. It’s called “I love Swedish P***y”, fill in the blanks yourself. Once again I spent the night approaching and talking to girls that I actually found interesting – and social intelligence came into play a lot more this night. I learned some advanced points about stealing girls chairs. At one point myself and one of the other students did an experiment – one of us walked a few feet behind the other and watched how the girls in the crowd reacted as the person in front walked past. It was interesting to find out that several girls were tracking me as I walked through the crowd – I wasn’t even noticing them as I walked past. It helped me to push my awareness further out into my peripheral vision, which gave me a lot more confidence in my surroundings than I’d had before.
Again, the music became too loud and it was time to move on. McDonalds – normally fantastic because it’s full of party girls on their last stop for the night but is quiet enough for James to overhear our conversations – was nearly empty, and the local backpacker hotel was as loud as the Ivy so we called it a night.
As I got into the taxi I realised that was the most grueling night I’d ever gone through – but thanks to James’s support and help I enjoyed almost every part of it!
The final day was a wind-down. James addressed each of us in turn and gave us feedback for what we need to work on over the next few months. This day provided me with two of the most amazing “Aha” moments I’ve ever had – and there’s just no way for me to relate just how life-changing they were.
The first was a demonstration that James did to show us how important it is to have energy. I watched in awe as Steve-Irwin-as-played-by-James brushed off round after round of ice-cold rejection from the most fiercely antisocial girl I’ve ever seen (played by Rebecca) until eventually it was just too much for her to hold up the bitchy facade and she cracked up laughing.
Then James told a story that made me come to understand why it is that all the girls that I’m interested in need to test me. I’d never thought of it before, but all of a sudden the reason for women – especially very hot, very smart women – to run guys through so many tests became clear as day to me. Since then I’ve never gotten annoyed or had an issue with a girl throwing tests at me, because I empathise with why they do it.
The day after the Bootcamp I was more exhausted than I think I’d ever been in my life. But that night I was back out and talking to girls in my local pub.
I’ve spent the last month and a half in a relationship with one of the most interesting and sexy girls I’ve ever met – a blonde, German gymnastics instructor – and I’ve found my confidence stretching beyond just women and into my life in general. I’ve started a business I’d always wanted to and changed out of a job that I hated doing.
If you’re wondering whether you should get in contact with James – whether for a Bootcamp or Workshop: stop wondering and do it – you’ll never look back.
Thank you James.