“I mean, good lord, [the Bootcamp] is 9000 miles away and I have a job.
James taught me to speak a new language.. the native tongue of women. He teaches you the rules of grammar and the elements of style of female communication.. speak from the heart, not the head; focus on emotions, cut down on facts; listen; use open-ended questions; don’t interrupt; give them energy, show confidence; be interested and finally the two big ones: eye contact and touch.”
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I have not lived” – Thoreau, Walden
By nearly any measure, I live a fortunate life. I’m 32, a cancer doctor working at an Ivy league medical school. I’ve traveled the world and had more adventures than most. My family loves me unconditionally, my little sister is happily married, and my friends are true. I’m average looking and as flawed as anyone, but I’ve been lucky enough to date several beautiful, intelligent, and soulful women who have made me a better man. I’ve had my share of sex. More importantly, I’ve been in love.
I’ve arrived in recent years at place of genuine confidence and I try not to take myself too seriously anymore. But I look around and see many paths still to explore. I choose to go into the woods, to face the wilderness of fears that I have yet to conquer; to meditate under the bodhi tree and to learn from a Buddha.
“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting” – The Buddha
James and I talk over Skype; he is on his way to the airport for a trip to Southeast Asia. I had emailed him for the first time only hours before, now he is telling me to come to Thailand, the following week, for an impromptu Bootcamp. He’s not sure if Thailand will be an ideal setting for his teaching, but he thinks it could be amazing. It’s a risk. I tell him I’ll think about it, but in my mind I know it’s impossible. I mean, good lord, Thailand is 9000 miles away and I have a job.
We chat for a few more minutes. He is not the smooth talker I expect, he has no sales pitch and he is halting over the phone; but this is comforting in some way. And then he tells me about his experience with meditation in India. I meditate. My biggest personal goal for the coming year is to meditate regularly.
Most “gurus” would be telling me about all the girls they bang, and this guy is telling me that I should think about Vipassana. A few days later, I leave for Thailand.
In Thailand, I find the most beautiful girls in the world, drawn together from far flung parts of the universe by some cosmic force.
Hundreds of them laying around in bikinis on the beach during the day and partying at night. I have been all over the world and have seen every shade of beauty, but nothing like this. James invited me to paradise (as an aside, I think James may do a bootcamp there again next year. This would be an experience of a lifetime, and if you’re an American it is closer and cheaper than meeting James in Australia).
“It is difficult for a woman to define her feelings in a language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs” – Thomas Hardy
I like to frame things by analogy. So here’s one. James taught me to speak a new language.. the native tongue of women, a language without a name, but that exists in the air we breathe, like the scent of a beautiful girl.
What I realize is that, despite fair success with women, I never really understood to speak their language. By being around them, being friends with them, dating them, I picked up a few words, the way you pick up words vacationing in a foreign country.
Most gurus seem to teach this language in a manner akin to using your lonely planet glossary to travel through China. You can get away with it if you are good at hand gestures and facial expressions, you may even connect with some people if they speak some of your language as well, but you will struggle to achieve understanding. Being functional in a language can be adequate for small aims, but it lacks the force of fluency.
James teaches you the rules of grammar and the elements of style of female communication.. speak from the heart, not the head; focus on emotions, cut down on facts; listen; use open-ended questions; don’t interrupt; give them energy, show confidence; be interested and finally the two big ones; eye contact and touch.
James told me many times that I had already developed most of the skills I needed to speak this language, and in some settings I spoke it fairly well. I only had to improve in a few areas, and work on them steadily. I could go from being fairly successful with women, to having almost limitless powers of attraction and connection with them.
And in large part, he has learned it directly from some astonishingly beautiful women (to wit, please check out the endless photo collection of his stunning and near-naked girlfriends saved on his camera.. it is the 8th wonder of the world).
I even ended up gaining from James’ advice on diet, health, energy and happiness. I had understood so many of these things viscerally for years, but seeing his results inspired me to take action.. I threw out my TV set, started eating healthier, natural foods, and tried to give a little positive energy to everyone around me.
James and I have been talking about getting together for an advanced bootcamp later in the year, with a few of his other students and I almost literally can not wait to hang out again as well as get myself to the next level.
Luke: “I can’t believe it”
Yoda: “That is why you fail.”
In the end, don’t choose James if you want short-cuts or gimmicks, or to learn the magic handshake that will get you laid at a club.. though this may happen.
What James teaches is real wisdom, a new way to perceive and communicate. It has changed my outlook already.
The coming months will reveal how this will impact me, but I’ve learned things about women that few men understand. I’ve even begun to teach my younger cousin many of the things James taught me.
Right now it’s an article of faith that I will improve dramatically–but what do we accomplish without belief anyway. I suspect that it will be like learning the guitar or training for a marathon.
With steady effort and belief, what appeared impossible at first becomes inevitable, and comes as naturally as speech.