How To Reduce Approach Anxiety


How can I better manage my energy to meet girls?

This is one of the most important questions of all. If you can manage your energy well you don’t need to be that smooth to get great results. If you can’t manage your energy you need a great connection and flawless “game” to have any hope. I devote more than a day to energy management on my Advanced Bootcamp.

Many of my clients are successful left-brain driven guys; engineers, IT professionals, doctors, accountants, financial market guys, pro poker players and skilled tradesman.

Guys doing these jobs can often struggle to get out of their heads and create the right energy on first approach in order to be initially attractive to women.

So, here’s some of my tips for managing your energy to meet women.

Firstly, don’t set yourself up to fail. Trying to shift from a ‘left-brain’ activity such as problem solving on a spreadsheet to a ‘right-brain’ activity like socialising is really tough. If you want to begin enjoyable conversations with attractive women in a loud, high-energy bar on Friday night, I suggest leaving the maximum possible time between your spreadsheet and socialising.

Better yet, enjoy a fun dinner with some good friends, play sport, go for a run in nature, at the beach or park or play with your dog in between.

If you’re out at night make sure you hang around with high-energy people whose company you really enjoy. You’ll bring each other’s energy up. One negative person can make socialising difficult. But a guy who wants to ‘break down each set’ like a basketball play after every girl you guys talk to will make it impossible.

Start by saying ‘hi’ to lots of people with a big smile. Greet bouncers and barmaids with enthusiasm. Introduce yourself to the people around you with a smile and handshake.

Unless you are handsome and super confident don’t start off with obvious approaches of the hottest girls. You can talk to the three 6’1 Russian supermodels and their bodyguards after you are socially ‘warmed up’. Be kind to yourself and have fun conversations with less threatening, more sociable girls first.

Anyway, you might be really surprised. Yes, some professional models are truly breathtaking, but others aren’t actually that beautiful once you take away their designer clothes, height, make up, stunning friends and attitude. Some less overtly beautiful women look way, way better and will make you way, way happier when you wake up beside them in the morning.

In summary:

1. Put a break between work and socialising

2. Even better, put a fun, high energy activity between work and socialising

3. Ditch negative people, especially guys that want to talk “game”

4. Don’t break down the details of every approach with your friends – just think “next!”

5. Warm up by smiling and greeting everyone around you or who you pass by

6. Start by approaching the friendliest group first – work your way up to the “intimidating” women

All the best!