1. Have the basic skill set to begin talking to a stranger.
You must first “appear” in the persons social radius, letting them know you intend speaking to them. Give them a moment from an appropriate distance to check to see that you are a friendly, not hostile stranger, then deliver your first words at the appropriate volume and tone for the setting.
Many times clients feel that a woman wasn’t interested in them, when in fact it was quite clear to me (standing ten feet away) that her first response was welcoming – she just became uncomfortable when she couldn’t hear them clearly. Other times the approach is too sudden – which can really shock a girl – so the energy of the interaction never becomes comfortable.
2. Have the right body language.
Body language is crucial on approach. Simple things like hands in pockets (which some say triggers a prehistoric fear that you may be carrying a weapon) arms folded, poor posture or fidgeting can doom even the easiest of approaches.
We watch clients carefully in bars, bookstores and in the streets and give them feedback and coaching. It astounds clients how easy approaching strangers can be and how receptive they are when they are shown precisely how.
I have traveled constantly for six years and most of the time I have entered a new country on my own. I am sure that, on average, I have approached more than two strangers per day (on days when I’m lost I may talk to 20) but even just two a day would amount to 4300 approaches!
3. The confidence and tools to effectively start and sustain good conversation
Real confidence comes from knowing what to do. We teach skills such as good use of open-ended questions, silence, effective listening for bonus information, good eye contact and kino (kinaesthetics), which all help sustain and deepen a conversation with a complete stranger.
Once you have the skills to build and sustain a good conversation you will be infinitely more confident and successful at beginning them!
4. Have the right energy and state of mind for the particular approach
If you get this right the rest of this stuff may even fall into place on it’s own. We have a number of exercises we use to get our client’s energy and state of mind right for the approaches they are attempting. I have seen clients mess up most of the rest of these six points and still do really well because they have a wonderful warm, confident friendly energy about them and the stranger welcomes this into their day, night, or life!
5. Do NOT project sexual intent
Try not to project any obvious sexual or romantic agenda before you have uncovered a real reason to be romantically interested in a woman. Yes, you may well be talking to her because she is hot, but that alone should not be enough to make you try to sleep with her. When you have uncovered things you find attractive about her, it is highly recommended that you do project sexual or romantic intent with your touch and eye contact.
Beautiful, desirable women with a healthy self-image are not often drawn to men who are attracted to them solely on the basis of their physical appearance. I believe these women are biologically programmed, or have discovered consciously or sub-consciously through experience, that the guys who are immediately interested in them purely because of their looks tend to be losers.
A man with things to offer a seriously beautiful woman (who has already had more than his share of women of her calibre) would surely want to know more about her life, hobbies, interests, IQ and character before he starts to drool down his chin, fantasising about waking up, spooning against her magnificent ass.
Yes, like nearly everything in social coaching, this rule does not apply 100% of the time, but the few exceptions I have seen have been extremely confident, charismatic men, far more handsome than I. Please note I am writing this assuming you are looking to meet women with a healthy self-image at or above your own social “level” or “value”.
As an aside, I tell everyone who cares to listen that virtually nothing in the Seduction Industry applies 100% of the time to 100% of the people.
Our Bootcamps will significantly increase your approaching and conversation skills and you will be better able to start and sustain more great interactions with people, and yes more hot women.
A text from my last Private Instruction client says it well: Thnx for showing me how 2 open a new chapter in my life!