Do You Struggle To Attract The Women You Really Want?
Do you sometimes think that you are just not rich, tall, handsome or interesting enough to date the women you really want?
Well, why not go out into the world and do some fun, practical things to make yourself a more attractive and desirable man.
I’ve been a Men’s Dating Coach, specialising in helping intelligent men aged over 30, since 2006. I’m constantly suggesting these 12 things to my clients and their results have been spectacular.
You’ll soon understand that money and looks are no match for a socially confident guy who shares some of a woman’s biggest passions in life.
1. Learn Massage
Many women will find a candlelit oil massage from you more romantic than the most expensive restaurant in town and she’s pretty damn near naked and longing for more of your touch at the end.
The use of massage techniques are the most simple and powerful seduction techniques I know, but NEVER give a woman a massage expecting a direct trade for something else. She’ll feel manipulated and you’ll feel needy.
Massage her because you like her and enjoy making her happy. The good stuff should come without you pushing for it.
Massage also builds a wonderful, relaxed, calm and giving atmosphere. You will feel more loving and she will be far more warm and responsive to your touch.
If you happen to be overly nervous about your first time with a new girl, worried about your current bedroom skills or even being able to get your little fella up, start with a relaxing massage. It will make things far easier and more enjoyable for both of you.
Don’t forget to ask for one back sometime.
2. Practice Yoga
You can find yoga classes that contain the hottest women you can ever imagine. They’re stretching every which way, in pretty much their underwear, and there is often 1 or 2 guys for every 10 girls!
Yes, I said 1 or 2 guys for every 10 girls and they’re often all attractive.
But don’t go to yoga class just to try to pick them up. They’ll know and think you are just another insincere loser coming to yoga purely trying to chat up girls – which is very unattractive.
Just be social and friendly with everyone after the class. When an appropriate time comes, warmly introduce yourself to the women you’re most attracted to.
Yoga is also one of the best things you can ever do for your health. I once spent a whole month doing nothing but yoga, mediating and reading.
I was deep in nature, eating wonderful vegetarian food. I felt better than I have ever felt in my life. I lived a month, but became five years younger.
Yoga will make you a healthier, friendlier, more vibrant and spiritual person, as well as a far better lover.
Yes, yogis do it better!
3. Take Up Dancing
Women love dancing and will often find you much more attractive if you can too.
I personally have only tried dance classes a couple of times, but I hear consistent reports from so many of my clients about their successes there. I also believe dancing can do wonders for analytical, over educated types (like me). It helps us get out of our heads and more into our bodies, something women find very sexy. Tango, salsa or swing in particular will get you in touch with your kinaesthetic, primal or more sensual side.
Many guys are obsessed with exactly what they say and when they say it. It is much more how you touch, move, look at and listen to a woman that matters.
Again, you’ll find plenty of women at a dance class or salsa night but if you don’t like dancing (like me) don’t go there purely to meet hot women. Pick something else on my list.
If you do the girls will know. They smell it when you enter the room. They find it weird, needy and sleazy. Not at all attractive.
4. Go Travel
Go travel – especially outside of developed countries. I mean travel, not just sightseeing, relaxing or partying. Try to do more than just go to a beautiful beach, hotel, bus tour or ski-fields and get drunk, but even that is probably way better than zero travel.
Travel opens up your mind like nothing else I know about. How often do you meet a well traveled person who is racist or homophobic or in any way intolerant or hateful to other human beings or their cultures? How often do you meet a well traveled person who is just plain stupid? I don’t think I ever have.
I’d suggest one year of real, independent international travel will develop you more as a human being than any four year university degree I can name.
Try to travel by yourself. It can be tough at first but, my god, you’ll grow so much as a man and (if you’ve got the skills) you’ll get to meet so many single girls. If the thought of independent travel alone or approaching the many attractive women you’ll meet frightens you, that’s a sure sign your conversation and social skills could use a serious upgrade.
Many women also tend to be way more liberal with the dating choices when away from home and this is turbocharged by the excitement of travel, adventure and discovery. Not surprisingly all of the bets ladies men I’ve ever met have been big travellers.
Also, nothing in my life; no course, no book, no degree, no mentor, has ever enriched my life as much as having girlfriends from a wide variety of countries, cultures and backgrounds.
So please, whatever you do in this life, try not to kick the bucket until you have savoured a Latino, a Nordic, a French, a Japanese and an Eastern European girlfriend.
5. Read Books
Literature, philosophy, modern best sellers, prize winners or biographies of people you admire.
Sample the timeless wisdom of the classics.
Try some new age authors with spiritual undertones. Not sure where to start? Look for a list of the most popular books as voted by general readers. You don’t need to start with James Joyce.
Also, you can ask beautiful, interesting girls what authors they enjoy reading. They will be thrilled to help you if you are genuinely interested in books. If you’ve got some skills, some may even want to sleep with you soon afterwards.
A decent part of my understanding of women actually came from books given to me or recommended to me by women.
Finally, the number 1 skill to get better with women is conversation. Reading books (especially novels) will give you a far greater command of language, which can make you a far better conversationalist.
Not surprisingly, many of the best ladies men I’ve met have been big readers.
6. Take Up A New Sport Or Hobby
Play an instrument, basketball, tennis, volleyball, go horse riding, bushwalking, mountain climbing, sailing, skiing, surfing, windsurfing. The list goes on.
Get out, get active, get competitive, get into nature; they will all reinvigorate you and make you more sexy and attractive.
7. Do Something Masculine
Any football or rugby code is great, but especially consider boxing, MMA, BJJ or a martial art.
Sure if you want to become a lethal weapon and risk a broken nose on day two you will be able to sign up for that, but these days it should not be hard to find “white collar”, “beginners” or “fitness focused” classes to get a small taste of the rough stuff.
You might even meet some pretty sexy ladies at the most funky boxing or kickboxing classes.
I can’t prove it, but I believe just a little bit of time on a bag or in the ring brings you a lot of raw masculinity that women really sense.
From my 10 years of dating coaching around the world I can assure you that masculinity beats good looks and money in attracting women, nearly every time.
Sadly, today so many educated, white collar guys in North America, Western Europe, Asia and Australia have very little masculine energy present in them that it makes it tough for women to feel any real physical attraction – no matter how handsome or successful they may be. This piece of advice is particularly powerful if you are one of the many men who spends much of your day shoving your mouse around a desk.
8. Read Erotica Written By Women
What is going on in a woman’s mind during sex? What does she want? What is she feeling? What are her wildest, most powerful fantasies? Do you have any real idea?
The average English speaking guy would be astounded and shocked to his very core if he had any idea about the fantasies and desires that are in most women’s minds. And the majority of women are far too shy to tell you. They expect you to be man enough to figure it out for yourself.
Reading erotic literature written by women will help you understand that women are NOT asexual beings who just want flowers, dinners, dates and drinks (and if that’s how they are around you, then you are probably doing a few things wrong).
I have no hard evidence at hand to back this up, but I’m certain that on average, most fit and healthy women out of their teens are way more sexual than men – if, and only if, they happen to find a man who actually has some idea what is going on in their mind. And the best way for you to discover that is to read erotic literature.
Reading erotica can also make you a better lover – which will, in turn, give you more overall confidence approaching and starting conversations with women.
9. Get Fit
Get fit. Running, gym, bike riding, swimming, triathlons, sport.
Virtually nothing is sexier than a really fit person who glows and vibrates health. Plus, I’ve heard from many students that running and triathlon clubs are chock full of attractive, successful, go-getter women.
10. Make The World A Better Place In Some Small Way
Do charity work, volunteer work, help someone less well off than yourself, start really listening to people, dream up some way to make your friend’s life better, start looking for genuine compliments you can give to people, coach or help out with a kid’s sports team, go keep old, lonely or sick people company for a few hours.
Be nice and flirt socially with someone you wouldn’t ordinarily consider attractive, take five minutes from your day to chat with that friendly (possibly very lonely) old man you would normally consider a nuisance in your young, busy, healthy life.
You can also use these interactions as tests for your conversational skills – see how quickly you can make her smile and see how quickly you can make the old guy interesting to you.
Good karma gets you laid boys!
Every woman dreams of a confident mean who is also a decent guy. A guy who cares and thinks about something other than himself and his own problems. That’s why beautiful women are always dating “bad boys” and trying so hard to change them.
You’ll soon discover that good karma = beautiful women throwing themselves at you.
11. Take Classes
What do you enjoy doing? What would you like to learn? Make a list today, plan to take a new class every six months for the next two years; painting, writing, photography, journalism, comparative religion, science, philosophy, investing, graphic design, history, public speaking, cooking, Tao sensual massage.
Go out and learn something to make yourself a better person, more interesting person and to help you meet new people in the process.
I’ve heard form many clients that many evening classes are chock full of women from about late 20’s upwards, hoping to meet men.
12. Join A Club
Political, chess, running, environmental, book, film, debating, business networking,travel, public speaking – follow your passions and meet and befriend like minded people. MeetUp.com is a great resource for this.
If you’re left wing you’ll find loads of hot ‘hippie’ girls at political, environmental clubs/meet ups.
Driven, ambitious women will flock to business and public speaking classes or networking events.
Go out and do something!
The more you embrace life, the more life embraces you. Make your life better by making someone else’s life better.
The more interesting and attractive you make yourself, the more interesting and attractive you become to all people, including the sweet, beautiful women of our world.
Doing any of these 12 things will make you much more attract to women but you still need the skills and confidence to take effective action and to make something happen. Your long term success and happiness with women has little to do with your looks, job, money, height or ethnicity. It is purely a function of your level of skill with women. Just like driving a car, surfing, fighting, playing golf, computer programming, public speaking, running a successful business etc are all about learning and implementing a particular set of skills.
Would you like to learn the skills to to quickly and easily improve your dating life? Well, I’ve created a hands on series of drills and exercises that you can practice with my female trainers to learn how to confidently…
- Meet and approach
- Build conversations and connect with women
- Read signals, and
- Understand women